Christmas of Resentment and Forgiveness

My holiday vacation experience is not just limited to the relaxing activities like sleeping, watching television, eating a plenty of food, roaming around, unwinding with family and friends, etc. It is a matter of learning, surviving and accepting reality that I hardly faced that moment. It's different and great holiday vacation for me because it is the time that I experienced the most horrible, unacceptable, and great struggles of my life.

They say Christmas season is the time of giving and a time of joy with your family. But the condition did not became reality for me. I spent my Christmas alone. Feeling hardly the bitterness of loneliness and isolation. My heart is like broken into pieces upon knowing that the happy family I have once will I experience no more!

My heart is filled with grudge and resentment to my mother because she abandoned us without even saying goodbye... and worst she let us suffer all the consequences of the problems she made. How dare her??? But then I heard from someone that Christmas is a time of forgiveness so I realized that I need to pardon my mother. Forgiveness helped me to accept reality. I had proven again that challenges strengthen YOU which I think the real purpose of GOD why He gave me those hurts and pain.

I am so grateful for the new strength and spirit which is my greatest weapon in the journey of my life. As the new year comes, new hope prevails my heart again.... hoping that someday, somehow....my broken family will turn back into whole!